My iPod has a new battery in it now. This is a good thing, because my iPod is two and a half years old now (wait, that means there was a time before I had an iPod. I am confused) and its battery, which was kind of the weakling sibling of the iPod family to begin with its mere eight hour published spec, was now holding about an hour and a half of charge, tops. And that's assuming that you didn't actually do anything with the iPod during that time except press the play button. And even that was pushing it, sometimes.
I did not get this battery from the Apple Store. The people at the Apple Store are pretty nice about most things, like the time I dislodged my H key by pounding on my keyboard in rage when I was unable to copy files off of my brother's corrupted hard drive and I brought it it into the Apple Store and they did not merely stick my H key back on, they replaced my whole damn keyboard FOR FREE, which was a little above and beyond the call. However, batteries are a weak spot with the people at the Apple Store. Batteries die, and some batteries die faster than others, and this is a fact of the universe that Apple does not particularly want to be responsible for, although they seem perfectly happy to accept responsibility for me banging on my own keyboard like the short-tempered idiot that I am, so I think, cosmically, it all balances out. But, in short, batteries from Apple == expensive and mayhap
== poor. So.
I bought my particular battery from iPod Juice
, whom I at least tentatively endorse, although I have not actually used their product except insasmuch as it did cause my iPod to turn on, and it is charging now, so this is, at least, a good omen. They included a blue plastic poky thing and an instructional sheet, which makes it look SO EASY to separate the two halves of the iPod. Easier than twisting an Oreo, which is not something I ever experienced a great deal of success with, owing to the fact that a.) I am clumsy, b.) my mother never bought Oreos, and c.) Oreos are actually kind of gross, unless you embed them in ice cream, which magically turns them awesome.
These instructions LIE. It is not easy AT ALL.
I enlisted my brother for this task, as he is the Designated Doer of Things That Require Tools in the family. (My father used to be the DDoTTRT, but he doesn't see so well any more, and Danny managed to replace the hard drive in his iBook himself, so he is indeed fully qualified to take over.) This was somewhat difficult, as he only lives in our house in the most technical of senses at this point, but I cornered him last night and he took the blue poky thing to the dead iPod to try to make it see reason.
Nothing happened. Well, at one point, he caused it to make a scary snapping noise, panicked, and then snapped it right back, but this is not what I call progress. Then he claimed that he was tired and that muscles hurt in his fingers that he didn't even know that he had, and he retired for the evening (by which I mean, went and played around on his own computer).
However, this afternoon he came home from school early (they were tired of him, I think) and brought his friend Nathan with him. Nathan is at our house at least as much as Danny is, and possibly more. Sometimes I call Danny's cell phone and Nathan answers, which is slightly disconcerting. Nathan watched as Danny applied the blue poky thing to the iPod and accomplished nothing.The scene, if you will
"Here, let me try that," Nathan offers, seizing the iPod.
"Did you read the directions?"
"I looked at the pictures." Nathan vigorously plies the poky thing.
"You need to read the directions!" Danny yelps, scandalized. Danny read the directions.
The iPod is already half-open. "Be careful!" Danny admonishes. I occasionally peek through my fingers, moaning.
"Stop, that thing is very fragile!"
"That ribbon thing! Here, hold that exactly where it is while I look at the directions!"
"I'm taking out the hard drive!"
I moan some more, handing them the new battery at the same time.
It made a violent snapping noise when Nathan put it back together, but nothing seems to be broken, except the bit of plastic at the bottom around the part where you plug the cable in, which is definitely broken but doesn't seem to matter. And now my iPod claims to be charged, so if you don't mind, he and I are going to go spend a little quality time together. Taking long walks on the beach and such. You know.