Ways that you can tell that you're reading a story by mayhap

[mayhap]

Gacked from approximately everyone, ever.

1. Hell has frozen over. Okay, this could also be an indication of many other things, but it might mean that you are reading a story by mayhap
   
2. It's short.
   
3. The pairing, if applicable, is either Harry/Draco, or weird, obscure and/or literary.
   
4. There is no more plot than absolutely, positively necessary.
   
5. There's always some plot, though. Or at least, a nice tableau. No one has context-free sex or sex-like activity, anyway. There's some set-dressing tucked around it.
   
6. If the characters are having sex or sex-like activity, the sentences get to be two to three times as long and often involve italics, although these are a bitch to code and I hate them and try to eschew them in the rest of the text because they're a stylistic crutch, but when there is sex, italics probably follow.
   
7. If the characters are having sex or sex-like activity, they are usually very good at the sex act(s) they are performing. If not, they and/or their partner are generally really aroused and stuff and enjoy them anyway.
   
8. The actual choreography of these sex act(s) can be pretty damn fuzzy. Often, it is comparable to a copy of an Impressionist painting done blindfolded.
   
9. If the characters having sex or sex-like activities are guys, which they generally are, they often give blowjobs , for some reason.
   
10. The titles suck. I hate thinking of titles.

Comments

[redscharlach.livejournal.com]

but when there is sex, italics probably follow.

A sound maxim for life, I reckon. In fact, perhaps this is how italics are created - roman letters have sex and it leaves them listing over to one side in a post-coital swoon....

[laislabevita.livejournal.com]

I tried to make this list. Unfortunately, I knew making the list was a lost cause after I wrote the first item on it:

Ways you can tell you're reading a story by Bevy:
1. It's incomplete. It's full of missing scenes, and even incomplete sentences. From my angsty revenge tale about a lawyer I used to work with, to the Marbury/Madison fic I owe my friend Meghan, I never seem to finish the stories I begin.

[nagasvoice.livejournal.com]

Came over from a link on underlucius, popped over to your blog to read slashy goodness. Read lovely things like the Sherlock Holmes story.
Sigh!
I feel better now, thank you.
You said you never finish anything, I belive?
Those are nicely finished.
More, please?