potentialities

Reviving this feature because it's wild card weekend eve and you'd probably wonder why there is suddenly NFL content on your friendslist, and the answer is that ionthesparrow incepted me into it.

(How did I end up in another sports RPF fandom where there isn't enough fic and most of it is for a team that I won't read? The Patriots, in this case.)

This Won't Hurt (15506 words) by ionthesparrow
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: National Football League RPF, Sports RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Alex Smith/Dustin Colquitt
Characters: Alex Smith, Dustin Colquitt, Eric Berry, Jamaal Charles
Additional Tags: Kansas City Chiefs
Summary:

The average NFL QB stands 6’3” and weighs about 225. The average quarterback career runs about 6 years, depending on who you believe, and allowing for the variance generated by guys like Blanda and Favre, and all the cup-of-coffee players littering the other side of the bell curve. All that makes it seem Alex is sitting pretty square in the middle of things, average in all senses of the word.

But Alex has always been exceptional.

Utterly gorgeous story of how Alex Smith found a home in Kansas City in 2013.

Take, Eat (3440 words) by ionthesparrow
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: National Football League RPF, Sports RPF
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Relationships: Brett Favre/Aaron Rodgers
Characters: Aaron Rodgers, Brett Favre
Additional Tags: Sex Is Not The Enemy
Summary:

Brett always gets to say where. Brett always gets to say when.

Deliciously messed-up, scorchingly hot.

Tricky and Wicked, Of Course (20646 words) by x_los
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Great Mouse Detective (1986), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Basil of Baker Street/Professor Ratigan
Characters: Basil of Baker Street, Professor Ratigan, David Dawson, Mrs. Judson (The Great Mouse Detective)
Summary:

The history of the rodent world is similar to, but does not exactly parallel, the history of the human world. A comedy in which Basil marries in haste, and attempts to annul in even greater haste.

So wrong, in the rightest possible way. There are all these beautiful bits of worldbuilding that pay off deliciously.

I'm bringing Friday fics back! It's long overdue, but I read far too much fic over Yuletide and then subsequently failed to get back into the groove. Attempting to ease back into it now.

Broken, Battered & Bent (10476 words) by Elspethdixon
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: James Bond (bookverse)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James Bond/Felix Leiter/Honey Ryder
Characters: James Bond, Felix Leiter, Honey Ryder
Additional Tags: Threesome
Summary:

Bond got awfully beaten up taking down Dr. No. Honey and Felix kiss him better.

I was complaining about how rare a fandom bookverse Bond is, but to be fair this one satisfies a lot of my cravings for bookverse Bond fic in one go, so that helps a lot.

Goth Detectives Episode 1--Back In Black (6450 words) by nottherainbow
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Goth Detectives, Big Fat Quiz of the Year RPF, Goth Detectives RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Russell Brand, Noel Fielding, Jonathan Ross, Jimmy Carr, Richard Ayoade, Bob Skeleton, Russell Howard, David Walliams, Rob Brydon
Series: Part 1 of Goth Detectives
Summary:

Noel Fielding is back as Bob Skeleton, and Russell Brand continues to be Russell Brand.
The Goth Detectives have opened their doors again (as well as their capes, some zippers that should not be open, doors that are not theirs, and a fateful box of hair dye) in order to solve a rather ghastly case but one that also involves bakeries and other people, places, and things they don't care much about.
Will it be too much for them to handle?! Are the Goth Detectives in over their heads so soon after returning to the gothlight?!
Most assuredly, but that's not going to stop them.

Wonderfully daft. Made me cackle like a loon throughout.

Hannibal got renewed for a third season! And NBC didn't even wait until the last possible second to deliver the good news! Let us celebrate with crack vids set incongruously to pop songs and musicals!


"Can You Feel the Love Tonight" (The Lion King) by boxbubblify / idontcareeverythingisrainbows

Everything about this vid is perfection. Especially casting Alana and Jack in the roles Timon and Pumbaa.

"A Whole New World" (Aladdin) by boxbubblify / idontcareeverythingisrainbows

Again, perfect.

"When You're Evil" (Voltaire) by boxbubblify / idontcareeverythingisrainbows

I hadn't heard this song before! It is hilarious and actually already perfect for Hannibal, unlike some of the so-wrong-it's-right in this batch of vids.

"Call Me Maybe" (Carly Rae Jepsen) by mresundance

This song is totally evil, so in that sense it's very appropriate. *g*

"Gentleman" (Psy) by Vivisextion

Luckily the vid has English subtitles for the Korean lyrics so non-Korean speakers can appreciate the beautiful clip choices.

"If You Were Gay" (Avenue Q) by me1thinks2

And finally: perfect.

Superhero RPF (10276 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 6/?
Fandom: Loki: Agent of Asgard, Ms. Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Loki & Kamala Khan
Characters: Loki (Agent of Asgard), Loki (Marvel), Kamala Khan, Kate Bishop, Billy Kaplan, Jeff Fischer (Marvel), Hilde (Marvel)
Additional Tags: internet drama, Tumblr, fail fandom anon - Freeform, fanfic about fanfic, mostly canon-compliant, loki's terrible slashfic
Summary:

Kamala is a popular fic writer in the superhero RPF fandom, known for her rather surreal take on what the Avengers do. Loki is a BNF, known for his wank and not-sure-if-trollfic in Game of Thrones fandom. He decides to see what this superhero business is all about. Friendship ensues.

This fic is still in progress, but so far it's everything I could possibly want from this premise. Which is canon now. And I love it.

So I didn't think that I had anything for this post this week, and then Chip Zdarsky retweeted this:

Come, Chip World (844 words) by shell
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Sex Criminals RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Matt Fraction/Chip Zdarsky, Matt Fraction & Chip Zdarsky
Characters: Matt Fraction, Chip Zdarsky
Additional Tags: Crack, This is Chip Zdarsky's fault
Summary:

Chip Zdarsky and Matt Fraction have a conversation.

Sadly, there is still no fic for my comics RPF OTP, Kieron Gillen/Jamie McKelvie, nor has anyone yet written the everyone in comics/Matt Fraction gangbang fic of my heart.

All figure skating RPF, all the time! Although there are basically tumbleweeds in place of any kind of Olympics fandom, as far as I can tell, so a bunch of it is from trawling the sadly defunct wintergameskink.

Birthday Boy by anonymous
Written for the prompt "Either Johnny, Plushy, or Joubert fucking Stephane hard; and Stephane's so far gone that all he can do it BEG for it almost incoherently"

Johnny Weir/Evgeni Plushenko/Brian Joubert/Stéphane Lambiel gangbang (does three people qualify as a gang? I dunno). It is fabulous.

stress relief by anonymous
Written for the prompt "So Plushenko, Joubert, Weir and Lambiel are on a tour together." (i.e., Kings on Ice) Featuring tender!Stéphane Lambiel seducing virginal!Brian Joubert, with a heavy side of toppy!Evgeni/bratty!Johnny.

This story is technically unfinished (or if the promised continuation was ever posted, I haven't found it yet), but it's so ridiculously hot anyway. Like, it's pure porn, so I'm sure everyone involved keeps fucking until they all have amazing orgasms, the end. And I will never know who this amazing writer is or be able to plead with them to write more.

Untitled Johnny/Evgeni/Yana threesome by anonymous
Written for the prompt "A good old-fashioned threesome with Johnny/Evgeni/Yana. Bonus points if there's an actual relationship there and Yana and Johnny troll Zhenya together."

Super hot, if you don't mind a bit of situational bisexuality in your canon gay.

Focus (3484 words) by beren
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: ice skating rps, Figure Skating RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Johnny Weir/Stephane Lambiel
Characters: Johnny Weir, Stéphane Lambiel, Evgeni Plushenko
Additional Tags: incubus, Demons
Summary:

One night during KOI Stéphane and Johnny have a very peculiar experience which leads them to find out something about Evgeni and their own relationship.

One of two stories with cracky/supernatural premises. In this one, Plushy is a matchmaking incubus.

The Strength of the Clan (6090 words) by beren
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Figure Skating RPF
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Evgeni Plushenko/Johnny Weir
Characters: Evgeni Plushenko, Johnny Weir
Additional Tags: Werewolf, Magical Creatures
Summary:

Johnny has been invited to stay with Evgeni; the thing is, he's not really sure why.

And this one has werewolf sex magic!

Like Something from Andy Warhol's Pornographic Period (6282 words) by Isagel
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Figure Skating RPF
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Evan Lysacek/Johnny Weir
Characters: Evan Lysacek, Johnny Weir
Additional Tags: Humiliation, Community: kink_bingo, Dominance/submission, RPF, Rival Relationship, Enemy Lovers, Object Insertion
Summary:

'Slore', Johnny had said on tv, making it a charming joke, but here he has no compunction about spelling out the words. About making sure Evan knows he means them, knows that they're true. By the time Johnny is done with him, he can usually feel them, carved all the way into his bones.

I don't really do Evan Lysacek fic, even though that basically eliminates at least half of all figure skating RPF, because he holds approximately negative amounts of interest for me as a person and also I'm forever bitter about Vancouver, buuuuuuut I made an exception for this fic based on the draw of the summary and it was so worth it.

Everyone who likes rare fandoms and vids probably already knows about festivids, yeah? This year's masterlist is here, with a few of my personal favorites below.

Spring Break Anthem
Fandom: Arrested Development
Song: Spring Break Anthem by The Lonely Island

I'm a sucker for a good Lonely Island vid, and could there possibly be a more perfect song for a GOB/Tony Wonder vid?

221B and a Half
Fandom: The Great Mouse Detective
Song: 221B and Borodin's Nocturne by Vincent Starrett and Joshua Bell

Sherlock Holmes was my first fandom and in many ways it is still the dearest to my heart. One of the best things was that by the time I discovered Holmes at age twelve, there was already over a century of fan material out there to explore.

Tik Tik Tok Tok
Fandom: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Song: Tik Tok by Ke$ha

Hilarious! Perfect pairing of song and source.

Stars
Fandom: Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Song: Stars by Heather Dale

Really lovely.

Banging Them Together
Fandom: Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Song: Drive My Car by The Beatles

Funny vids are pretty much my favorite kind, and this is another incredibly funny vid.

Je ne suis pas un cadeau et mes cadeaux encore moins (449 words) by Nelja
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Norse Religion & Lore
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Loki/Sigyn, Frigg/Óðinn | Frigg/Odin, Loki & Óðinn | Loki & Odin
Characters: Loki (Norse Religion & Lore), Óðinn | Odin, Sigyn (Norse Religion & Lore), Frigg | Frigga
Additional Tags: Humor, Gift Giving, Worst at Friendship
Summary:

Odin et Loki s'interrogent : qu'offrir à l'autre pour le nouvel an ? Il faut que ce soit le pire cadeau de l'histoire des cadeaux. Leur honneur est en jeu !

Norse Mythology was always a rare fandom, but now you have to craft increasingly-arcane queries to confirm just how little non-Marvel fic there actually is. And then sometimes it's in French. Luckily, I read French!

Learning Russian (1210 words) by perevision
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Mysterious Edge of the Heroic World
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: William Wilcox/Amedeo Kaplan, Jake Kaplan/;)
Characters: William Wilcox, Amedeo Kaplan, Jake Kaplan
Additional Tags: Books, E.L. Konigsburg
Summary:

Several years later, Amedeo no longer feels like a member of Aloners Anonymous, but he still hears the double exclamation points when he thinks William Wilcox's name.

I love this book so much—it's one of my favorite Konigsburgs, and she was one of my favorite authors, ever. There should be more fic for it, but as there's only the one, luckily it's delightful.

When Wart met the Doctor (1470 words) by SansSerif
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Doctor Who, Once and Future King series - T. H. White
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: The Doctor (Doctor Who), Arthur Pendragon, Wart, Pellinore (Arthurian), Merlyn
Additional Tags: Sword in the Stone, Christmas, Feast, Questing, dragon - Freeform, Acting, Forest Sauvage
Summary:

“It was Christmas night and the proper things had been done. … There had been mummers to play an exciting dramatic presentation of a story in which St. George and a Saracen and a funny Doctor did surprising things…” — TH White’s Sword in the Stone c.1939

I don't know the classic Doctors well enough to work out which one I think this is! Perfect idea for a crossover, though.

the beatings will continue until morale improves (1621 words) by astolat
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Sherlock (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson
Additional Tags: Spanking, BDSM, First Time, 3x01-The Empty Hearse
Summary:

"This is why you didn't tell me, isn't it," John said.

So I actually really hate it when people slap and/or punch each other, especially if it's played for laughs, unless one or more parties are deriving sexual gratification from it, in which case I love it, so this is, like, fix-it fic for me.

I almost forgot what day it was, but then astolat posted a new MCU story and I realized that I had a post and it had a theme even.

更多的狼 / Gèng duō de láng (More Wolves) on Serenity (2613 words) by Kass
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Firefly, Iskryne Series - Elizabeth Bear & Sarah Monette
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Wash Washburne/Zoe Washburne, Malcolm Reynolds/Simon Tam, Malcolm Reynolds/Wash Washburne, Jayne Cobb/Malcolm Reynolds, Malcolm Reynolds/River Tam
Characters: Malcolm Reynolds, Simon Tam, River Tam, Kaylee Frye, Zoe Washburne, Hoban "Wash" Washburne, Shepherd Book, Jayne Cobb
Additional Tags: Psychic Wolves, ep-related, AU, Episode: s01e01 Serenity
Summary:

"Mal, this is Simon Tam, and his wolf Yín bèi," Kaylee says. And doesn't it just figure that a rich guy would have a wolf named Silver? Mal manages not to scowl, but it's a near thing. "Simon, this is our captain, and his wolf Baozhu."

It's the Firefly pilot, only with Iskryne-style psychic wolves. It's a little sketchy as a story, to avoid the obvious non-starter of, like, novelizing the entire episode, only with wolves, but there are little details in the crossover that are really nice, like Mal being bonded to a queen wolf, because of course he is.

Entanglements (17979 words) by astolat
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel), Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Pepper Potts/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Loki/Tony Stark
Characters: Loki (Marvel), Tony Stark, Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Pepper Potts, Amora (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Knotting, Sex Pollen, Loss of Virginity, Voyeurism, Incest, Compensatory Incest Porn Of The Gods, Orgasm Denial, That's The Kinks Through The First Scene, It Kind Of Goes On From There, Also Saving The World, Loki Joins the Avengers, The Mighty Frog Thor, Blowing Up Planets
Summary:

Huh, was Tony's first thought when the spell broke and all of a sudden his brain came back online.

So yeah, if you like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing you will like, as Lincoln is alleged (with, to be clear, no basis in fact) to have said. There is tropey crack. There is a cameo by Frog Thor. There is unusual male anatomy. I leave it to the reader whether these are warnings or enticements.

I'm going to see The Dark World on Monday with a friend from out of town, so still avoiding spoilers, alas. Of course, I've been doing it for so long already, it's pretty instinctive.