Ways that you can tell that you're reading a story by mayhap

[mayhap]

Gacked from approximately everyone, ever.

1. Hell has frozen over. Okay, this could also be an indication of many other things, but it might mean that you are reading a story by mayhap
   
2. It's short.
   
3. The pairing, if applicable, is either Harry/Draco, or weird, obscure and/or literary.
   
4. There is no more plot than absolutely, positively necessary.
   
5. There's always some plot, though. Or at least, a nice tableau. No one has context-free sex or sex-like activity, anyway. There's some set-dressing tucked around it.
   
6. If the characters are having sex or sex-like activity, the sentences get to be two to three times as long and often involve italics, although these are a bitch to code and I hate them and try to eschew them in the rest of the text because they're a stylistic crutch, but when there is sex, italics probably follow.
   
7. If the characters are having sex or sex-like activity, they are usually very good at the sex act(s) they are performing. If not, they and/or their partner are generally really aroused and stuff and enjoy them anyway.
   
8. The actual choreography of these sex act(s) can be pretty damn fuzzy. Often, it is comparable to a copy of an Impressionist painting done blindfolded.
   
9. If the characters having sex or sex-like activities are guys, which they generally are, they often give blowjobs , for some reason.
   
10. The titles suck. I hate thinking of titles.