Yoga for Pages

[mayhap]

Library work can have a negative affect upon your posture and well-being, even -- in my experience, especially -- when you are chronically underemployed. Counteract this with Yoga for Pages, the product of my extensive experience in the field of pretending to be busy when there is no work to be done.


Pose 1: Stacks Salutation

1. Bring a footstool or a straight-backed chair to your shelfreading section.
   
   
2. Sit down.
   
   
3. Lift your arms above your head and gently arch your back from the shoulders.
   
   
4. Try to read the titles of the books behind you.
   

Pose 2: The Modified Mountain

1. Select an intriguing book from the shelf.
   
   
2. Read the first few pages. Keep your back straight, your elbows out, and your book resting on a shelf.
   
   
3. End up reading the entire book while standing there.
   
   
4. Practice a state of calm, unsuspicious alertness throughout. Remember to breathe.
   

Pose 3: The Surreptitious Corpse

1. Scope out the location and occupation of your co-workers.
   
   
2. Select a little-trafficked section of your library without a direct line of sight to any check-out or reference desks. In my library, good locations include Juvenile Fiction AA-BU, Adult Fiction PA-SP and roughly half of the Adult Nonfiction section.
   
   
3. Lie on your back with your arms slightly away from your sides, palms up and legs spread comfortably apart.
   
   
4. Maintain this position as long as you think you can plausibly get away with it.