Sarkathon

[mayhap]

To cheer myself up this weekend I had a bit of a Sarkathon. I watched all the Sark episodes off my Alias seasons one and two DVDs and chased them with two carefully selected and downloaded episodes of season three (3x20 and 3x22, snerk) and the two Sarkisodes from this season. There were also Dairy Milk bars involved.

Things I learnt from this exercise:

• Sark looks very pretty when Vaughn is cuffing him to a wrought iron gate.
  
• Actually, Sark looks very pretty, full stop.
  
• There totally should have been a plotline where Syd has to seduce Sark for information. He made it amply evident that he was gone on her. This is a weakness! Weaknesses were made to be exploited! Also, it would have been hot.
  
• That would totally be me. The whole, "Wait, you want to hurt me? Don't worry, I'll say or do whatever you want. After all, I can always get my own back later." This is why I do not sort Gryffindor.
  
• Sark is also totally smitten by Spymommy. He knows how the milk got in the coco-nut, oh yes indeedy.
  
• Vaughn has this strange fixation with Sark's nose. Not that I blame him, of course; Sark has such a lovely nose. Of course, I would be more inclined to, say, nibble on it rather than bash it into a table, but we're all different.
  
• Merrin Dungey is right: "My loyalties are flexible" is the best line ever.
  
• Torture is basically the same thing as sex, right? C.f. Sayid and Nadia or Sayid and Sawyer from that other JJ show. Of course, this adds a whole new level of disturbing to the time Sark took a blowtorch to his father.
  
• Sark/Vaughn/Lauren's dead body? Worst. Threesome. Ever.
  
• Sark/Vaughn/Syd, on the other hand? Hot liek whoa. Weren't they just saying that they needed to spice up their sex life? Because, yeah.
  
• So, apparently redeemed!Sark is canon now. I guess that saves fic writers the work.
  
• You know, now that Vaughn has gone rogue, he should really hook up with someone who knows their spy shit. Someone ... blond. With a really nice nose. Yes.
  
  
  The only problem is that I still don't want to do any of the work I'm supposed to be doing. Instead, I want to write hotdirtywrong spysex.
  
  Also, David Duchovny was on Inside the Actor's Studio. He talked about his sexy dissertation that never was. Muah.

Comments

[satyadasa.livejournal.com]

I wonder if there is much torture in JJ's sex life.

[mayhap]

Somehow, I do not believe that he would respond if I posed this query on The Fuselage.

[laislabevita.livejournal.com]

Torture is basically the same thing as sex, right?

Well, you know, if there's no sex in your violence, you're not doing it right, as you so wisely put it once.

[mayhap]

That really needs to be iconified. The trouble? Choosing among alllllll the pretty Sark pictures.

[mayhap]

How's this?

[laislabevita.livejournal.com]

Mmm, masochistic.

[coercedbynutmeg.livejournal.com]

How often do we see Sark's tongue? How often do we see tongues upon Sark? The tongue is a sex organ if it is properly used. There's nothing like walking up to someone who is tied up and ever so gently licking them.

[mayhap]

Hmm. Multiple instances of tongue-kissing (evil!Francie back when she was alive, stupid Lauren back when she was alive, and, on one very memorable occasion, Sydney dressed up as Lauren), but I can't offhand recall any visible Sark!tongue. After all, licking one's lips is a sign of weakness, and Sark definitely never displays any of that. *snerks*

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[mayhap]

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