Mayhap Corrects Even More Misapprehensions of Her Patrons

[mayhap]

This was lots of fun the last time that I did it, so I present you with a second edition:

Mayhap Corrects Even More Misapprehensions of Her Patrons

Misapprehension the First:
The library recently rearranged its collection specifically to annoy you. Actually, we moved the section you are looking for all the way to the other side of the building, in order that you might be as inconvenienced as possible. And the actual items you desire? We keep those in a box in the page room, and we only show them to the cool people and you, I hardly need mention, are not one of the cool people. It goes without saying, of course, that I myself am the evil mastermind behind this scheme.

In fact:
First, we were informed by Headquarters that we would be rearranging our collection. Then we were told where we were going to be putting everything. Then we actually moved everything. Now, we are all being paid various amounts of money, all of them less than ten dollars an hour, to direct you to the new location of the items you desire, and in turn be informed that we are the spawn of Satan. Who, precisely, is the one being inconvenienced here?

Misapprehension the Second:
If you spend enough hours at the library surfing dating sites, eventually you too will find your true love, just like all those people on the commercials.

In fact:
This is unlikely. It is particularly unlikely if you fill out your profile in a truthful manner, in which case it will read: "I am at least 60 years old, although it is difficult to pinpoint my age with my peculiarly undead-looking skin. I dye all seven strands of my hair black and then plaster them across my skull, and wear the same translucent blue plaid shirt everywhere I go. My hobbies including staying at the library every night until they close, never at any point checking out a single book, and bitching at innocent library employees every day when the library closes and they seem to think that I ought to leave or something."

Misapprehension the Third:
The library would be delighted to take this opportunity to purchase several hundred copies of your POD vanity press masterpiece.

In fact:
We would be happy to shelve these books appropriately, but we regret that your ass does not have a dewey decimal number.

Comments

[coercedbynutmeg.livejournal.com]

Well, that makes sense, sort of.
At least I guess with regards to the programs they do. And it's not like the library is quiet or anything.