Forever looking in the mirror
May. 8th, 2004 03:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mayhapI carry stress on my shoulders. The weight of the world bears down on the same spot, a point between my shoulder blades, and twists my spine, so that even when I should be able to sit up straight again, I can't.
When I get home, I will have to visit the chiropractor again, and I will lie down and his fingers will find the exact same problem. He will set it right again, so quickly that I will start, even though I'm supposed to be staying relaxed and still, and then for a time I will stand tall, but it never lasts.
I scarcely know what to do with myself this weekend. I suppose that I should be doing all the fun New York things that I haven't been doing lately because all I could see was the stuff that I was supposed to be doing and I won't be able to do soon because I'll be in Missouri. The only problem is that I can't, now that it comes right down to it, think what those things are meant to be, although I am sure that I will have all summer to regret not doing them. I love my family, I really do, but I have vanishingly little else to go home for any more. Soon I will have no reason to actually leave my house while I'm there, and that makes for a very long summer, indeed.
My mom is coming to New York on Monday. She will work miracles and pack and ship all of my stuff, I will take her to do fun New York things, and then we're blowing this popsicle stand on Thursday. So very soon now.
*sighs*
When I get home, I will have to visit the chiropractor again, and I will lie down and his fingers will find the exact same problem. He will set it right again, so quickly that I will start, even though I'm supposed to be staying relaxed and still, and then for a time I will stand tall, but it never lasts.
I scarcely know what to do with myself this weekend. I suppose that I should be doing all the fun New York things that I haven't been doing lately because all I could see was the stuff that I was supposed to be doing and I won't be able to do soon because I'll be in Missouri. The only problem is that I can't, now that it comes right down to it, think what those things are meant to be, although I am sure that I will have all summer to regret not doing them. I love my family, I really do, but I have vanishingly little else to go home for any more. Soon I will have no reason to actually leave my house while I'm there, and that makes for a very long summer, indeed.
My mom is coming to New York on Monday. She will work miracles and pack and ship all of my stuff, I will take her to do fun New York things, and then we're blowing this popsicle stand on Thursday. So very soon now.
*sighs*
