mayhap: illustration angels kissing (angels kissing)
[personal profile] mayhap
Nearly done!

On the train ride to Gyokurin, Tezuka flipped through the twenty-page list of Nobel prizewinners that Inui had printed out for him. Inui stood beside him with his own list. Both of them had quizzed each other thoroughly on the contents of these lists and knew them forwards and backwards, but they looked at them anyway, just because.

This time, they walked around like they knew what they were doing and ignored the other teams who were staring and occasionally pointing.

Well, really. Wouldn't you be?

"If I'm not mistaken, the Fudasei team has been talking about us," Inui observed. "We will be able to confound all of our opponents' data. It should give us a significant psychological advantage, especially in our first game, which should be a particularly tough match against Gyokurin."

"Yes," Tezuka nodded. They had put away their lists and were standing together nonchalantly until it was time for the first matches to begin.

The senior members of the Gyokurin quiz bowl club were running around frantically making sure that all the buzzer systems were set up, all the tables and chairs had been arranged, all the moderators had been briefed and all the questions in their sealed envelopes had been distributed. Inui and Tezuka were waiting for fifteen minutes before the Gyokurin captain rushed in, told four of his teammates to go ahead and play this match without him, and deputized one of them as substitute captain.

It's hard work running a tournament the same time that you're playing in it. I so totally don't recommend it.

"They have definitely underestimated us," Inui whispered to Tezuka.

"Very careless of them," Tezuka murmured back. "Shh," he added, as an afterthought.

Their moderator for this game was a teacher from Gyokurin. She introduced herself to Tezuka and Inui and read the rules aloud, the way she was supposed to. "I will be asking you toss-up questions that are worth ten points each. If you think you know the answer, press your buzzer and wait for me to recognize you by name before you give an answer. In the second half, answering a toss-up question correctly will also give your team a chance to answer bonus questions worth a total of twenty points. On a bonus question, you may confer with your teammates, but this is not permitted at any other time and any team violating this rule will be disqualified form the tournament. Does anyone have any questions?"

Yay infodump.

No one did. Tezuka and Inui were poised, buzzers in hand, paper in front of them, leaning forward attentively. Their opponents were fidgeting.

"Question number one is in science. It was discovered in 1766 -- "

Oooh, yeah, baby. That's hot.

Tezuka rang in. "Seigaku, Tezuka," she said, looking at him doubtfully.

"Hydrogen," he said. The moderator stared at her paper to make sure she was reading it properly.

"That is correct," she said. "Ten points for Seigaku."

"What?"

"That can't be right!"

"Their team must be cheating!"

The moderator said there was no evidence of any cheating and would everyone please sit down. Inui pushed his glasses to the top of his nose. Tezuka began to feel excited.

The technique he had employed was somewhat similar to Inui's data tennis. It involved predicting what direction the question was heading in early on and interrupting the moderator to answer. It didn't come naturally to Tezuka, who would have preferred to listen to each question in its entirety, but Inui had coached him until he was reasonably proficient. After all, it would be impossible to beat the higher-level quiz bowl teams without taking risks.

I never did anything that awesome, because I am not as cool as Tezuka. I did get a reputation for never, never being wrong, though. I was very dependable.

"Question number two is in world history," the moderator continued.

Gyokurin's less-experienced players were completely demoralized and Seigaku dominated in the first half, 70-20. At the half, Tezuka and Inui sat back calmly while the Gyokurin players quarreled with each other about whose fault it was that they were losing to two Seigaku tennis players.

It's the fact that they're tennis players that really gets to them.

"How can they possibly expect to win like this?" Inui said, as the poor moderator asked for the third time for them to please give her their attention for the beginning of the second half.

"They don't expect to win," Tezuka said. "Which is why they won't. Zero percent chance," he added.

It's so damn cute when Tezuka teases people with their catchphrases with that total deadpan of his! ♥

They didn't. When the Gyokurin captain stopped by to pick up the scoresheets, he laughed. "No, really, what was the score?"

"Two-hundred twenty to sixty-five," Inui chimed in. He held out his hand for a handshake that never came.

Oh, Inui.

"How could you have let this happen? Were you even awake?"

Tezuka tactfully dragged Inui out of the room. "Who are our next opponents?" he asked.

Inui consulted his notebook. "Kakinoki," he said. "They should present no difficulty."

Tezuka frowned. "I thought they won both of their games last week."

"According to my data their playing is not exceptional. Their technique for winning involves distracting the opposing team with their revealing clothing."

"Ah," Tezuka said. They won, 160-145, and refused to give their phone numbers to anyone afterwards.

I felt kind of bad about inventing this team, but they amused me, so I left them in and let them play pretty well against Seigaku. Sorry, girls! You could have beaten many other teams, but you had to get the gay tennis players.

I actually experienced discrimination as a female quiz bowl player! I should have gotten to play on this all-state team that went to Disneyworld, but the guy who picks the team is a male chauvinist pig who only ever takes boys. I'm still mad that I've never been to Disneyworld.


"This should be our most difficult game of the day," Inui whispered as the Fudomine team filed into the room and took their places opposite. "They're good and not easily rattled. And that girl over there can beat me on the math questions."

That's hot. I kind of want to pair Inui with her now. ShimInui? InuShimi? Come on, join the Inui Het Revolution!

Tezuka craned his head to stare at her before he realized that he was being impolite. "Don't get careless," he whispered back to Inui.

Checking out the competition, eh, Tezuka?

"Of course."

They made polite small talk with the Fudomine players while they waited for the questions to be delivered to their room. The girl that Inui had singled out turned out to be in Tachibana's class, and she promised to give him the regards of the Seigaku tennis club. Then the game began.

The first question was in math, and Fudomine's Shimizu beat Inui to the buzzer. Naturally, Inui's data was accurate. Tezuka worked on clearing his mind and getting ready for the next question, which was in Japanese history.

Tezuka buzzed in and answered the Meiji Restoration, which was incorrect. Fudomine got to listen to the rest of the question and answered Rurouni Kenshin, which was. "Questions about manga should not be under Japanese history," Tezuka said, louder than he'd intended.

I love how Tezuka is all scandalized because he actually got a question wrong! Questions that start off sounding like they're about one thing but actually turn out to be about another suck, though.

"Did you want to lodge a protest, Seigaku?" the moderator asked him.

"No. I'm sorry. Please continue."

He missed a question he could have answered about Hokusai, and then he took one about the Tokyo Yakult Swallows' pitcher.

"Well done, Tezuka!" Inui hissed.

"It is all thanks to your training menus," Tezuka answered. "Shh!"

They struggled through the rest of the first half and ended up with a score 60-30 Fudomine.

"The score deficit is nothing," Inui said, "We can make that up in one question in the second half."

Tezuka nodded. "We need to play the best game that we've ever played."

"Question number eleven is in world history."

This part was harder because I had to actually keep track of what the scores of the games were supposed to be instead of making up random numbers. I still have my papers covered in columns of fake quiz bowl game scores.

Fudomine took the question, but they missed all their bonus questions on world rivers. Seigaku scooped up their twenty points and narrowed their lead.

The next question asked for the roots of a quadratic equation, and Inui rang in as soon as the question had been read and worked out the correct answer while the moderator was calling his name. Again they swept the bonus, which was also in math, and the score was 80-70 in their favor.

"We can definitely do this," Inui said. They lost two straight questions and only made up ten points on the bonuses, but they remained calm. Fudomine fumbled a question about the bones of the inner ear, which Inui took, and they got ten more points for identifying two of four United States cabinet members correctly. Fudomine couldn't answer either of the ones they missed, so their scores remained tied.

There was a question about literature that no one knew, and then question number seventeen was in science. "This man is the only winner of two Nobel Prizes for Chemi -- "

"Sanger," Tezuka answered, and with the bonus they brought their lead up to thirty points, but then Shimizu beat Inui on another math question and they tied the score going into the final question of the match.

"Question number twenty is in geography. It is famous for a large statue of Jesus on top of a mountain. Name this Brazilian city -- "

Fudomine buzzed in and answered São Paolo.

"That is incorrect," the moderator said, and their team groaned. Tezuka didn't even wait for the rest of the question to be read to answer.

Your coach will generally tell you off for not waiting until the end of the question when the other team has already buzzed in and missed it. That is, if your coach is actually present, and not off at a hostess club.

"Seigaku, Tezuka."

"Rio de Janeiro."

I was there! I went to the top of that mountain and saw that statue!

"That is correct."

They received a bonus in math, and Tezuka leaned so far over to watch as Inui was writing, he practically fell out of his own hard metal chair. Their final score was 170-140.

Oh, Tezuka. ♥ ♥ ♥

"We were completely defeated," the opposing captain said gracefully as he shook hands with Tezuka.

"Your team played very well," Tezuka responded. He said and did all the right things, but as soon as was at all polite, he and Inui broke away and scurried down the hall to find the tournament headquarters where the official scores were being written up.

Only half of the six games, including theirs, were posted. Inui began figuring out loud. "We did it, Tezuka! We made it into the top four!"

"How do you know?" Tezuka asked. "We don't have all the scores in."

"There is a sixty-seven point three percent chance that we have made it into the finals," Inui corrected himself. They stood back against the wall and waited for the final results, Tezuka silently, Inui with a lengthy explanation of the data underlying his projected results, until they had the score from the Kakinoki-Ooshogi game and both of them knew what it meant immediately.

They're so cute when they're all excited!

"We did it! We're going to districts!" Inui was glowing and Tezuka was making an exhibition of himself and all the other quiz bowl teams were staring at them as they exchanged high fives and hand clasps and Tezuka was long past caring. He barely heard the official announcement of the final results: in the first seed, Gyokurin; second, Fudosei; third, Fudomine; and fourth, Seigaku. He managed to gather the information packet about district finals that would have gone to their coach if their coach had bothered to show up and the two of them were ready to leave.

Tezuka didn't know what he was expecting when Inui pulled him aside on their way out. He didn't figure it out when Inui placed one of his hands on Tezuka's right shoulder and wound the other one into the hair at the back of Tezuka's head. He still didn't understand when Inui kissed him.

Tezuka's a little slow to catch on.

Their glasses clashed and Tezuka's heart stuttered and Inui's lips were soft and thorough and his hands were warm, insinuating their way under Tezuka's shirt and finding the planes of his back. Tezuka forgot how to think, how to move, how to breathe; when Inui let him go, his own legs wouldn't support him, and he stumbled and fell back against the stone wall.

I think I spent like five hours writing that paragraph.

"Inui," he said finally, and then stopped, because he didn't know what else to say.

How about 'Fuck me'?

"I'm sorry," Inui said, looking down. "I always get your data wrong. I thought that you -- that we -- I'm very sorry."

Oh, Inui.

He backed away and fled, not even noticing that he had left all this things on the ground at Tezuka's feet. Tezuka reached out, automatically, to gather the scattered papers and found underneath them the black and white notebook labeled "Tezuka Kunimitsu, Quiz Bowl".

Tezuka had never seen the inside of any of Inui's notebooks. Partly because it would be wrong and dishonorable and a grievous invasion of privacy and partly because Inui never, ever permitted anyone else to have access to them.

He hardly even hesitated before opening it, and he hated himself for it.

The first few pages appeared to be notes on his tennis, written in some kind of hybrid notation that probably only Inui could understand anyway, although he traced the pages with his fingers and picked out the arc of his zero shiki drop shot, the spin on one of his serves. In the later pages there were notes he had taken on their quiz bowl matches, which were tolerably clear.

Interleaved were pages he could make absolutely nothing of, until he found his own name and realized that they were in mirror writing. He read slowly and laboriously, until he blushed even hotter and snapped the notebook shut and cursed himself for having opened it in the first place.

He dialed Inui's number three times, but Inui didn't answer.




Mirror Writing
Prince of Tennis. Tezuka Kunimitsu/Inui Sadaharu. NC-17. 637 words.

I'm never really sure what NC-17 is supposed to mean in regards to fiction, anyway, but this probably isn't it. Oh well. I promised NC-17 companion fic and I'm not checking IDs anyway so it doesn't matter.

It made me blush the entire time I was writing it, anyway.



Selected excerpts from 'Tezuka Kunimitsu, Quiz Bowl':

... So far I have been unable to determine what sexual position Tezuka would prefer despite the vast amount of data I have collected on him (17.1222 volumes to date). One theory states that because he is 5cm shorter than I am there is a 100% chance he will be uke but I still feel that this model is overly simplistic and does not account for sufficient variables to be reliable. I suppose that I will continue to prepare for any eventuality, which I must admit has been extremely pleasurable....

The endless seme-uke arcana in yaoi fandom amuses and bemuses me. I love the idea of Inui looking at websites and pondering all these rules when he should be shoving Tezuka up against a wall already.

… Strangely there do not appear to have been any studies done on the effects of high altitudes on sex. My research turned up something called the "Mile High Club" but this turned out not to be exactly what I was looking for. I propose that I take Tezuka climbing and that we have carefully-calibrated sex whenever we have ascended 100m in order to determine what the nature and extent of these effects may be.

I'd fund that research. My googling on the subject was disappointing.

Possible flaws in methodology: difficult to resist Tezuka long enough to ascend 100m, high probability of plunging to our deaths. Also I will need more experience in mountain climbing, although of course lagging behind Tezuka to some extent would have certain advantages, particularly if he were wearing one of those harnesses....

... I had no idea that Tezuka could recite the capital cities of all the countries in the world. I had him do it twice. The second time I imagined that as he was doing it, I was slipping under the table and undoing his pants and sucking on his cock, running my tongue along the whole length of it very slowly and he was trying to keep his voice steady so no one in the library would realize what I was doing. So far this has proved a very satisfactory fantasy. I have already employed it on three occasions....

Okay, so basically this is the hottest thing ever. That is all.

... My continuing experiments with Inui's Sweet Sweet Loving All Night Long Juice have been highly disappointing. Although all the ingredients I have tried came highly recommended as aphrodisiacs, so far the only noticeable effect that I have observed during testing is a severe case of halitosis, which is completely unacceptable. However, I'm afraid that Tezuka will leave me if I prove to be an unsatisfactory lover, and the competition could become stiff, so I am not yet prepared to abandon its development....

Oh, Inui.

... When Tezuka leans so far forward that he practically falls out of his chair with that look on his face like he's determined to take the next question, I just want to throw him down on the table and fuck him right there. Unfortunately, this would most likely get us disqualified from the tournament and bring shame upon our school and then Tezuka would never speak to me again...

... unfortunately.

... Once again I have run through my calculations and they have conclusively demonstrated that there is a 97% chance that Tezuka is a homosexual. I have decided to disregard the 3% chance that he is an alien from outer space, although it would explain certain aspects of the Tezuka Zone which I have been otherwise unable to account for, regardless of the sophistication of my calculations....

... A question about Japanese history prompted an excellent fantasy where Tezuka was a brilliant young samurai and I was an actor who had always wanted to be a samurai and so I trained in secret and one day I challenged him to a swordfight and he agreed because he found me irresistible and I won and he said that I was the first person who had ever defeated him and I said that I would show him the secret of my training and then we had sex. I hope there will not be any questions about samurai in our matches....

OMG INUI RITE MORE!!1!!

... oh, wait. Damn.

Date: 2006-08-16 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-spicy.livejournal.com
i liked the selected excerpts part.

can i expect more lovely inutez like this?

Date: 2006-08-17 02:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-spicy.livejournal.com
aaah-- almost all of my oTPs are suffering the same fate.

sigh.

Date: 2006-08-18 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-spicy.livejournal.com
er---just about anything cracky,

tezuoishi, takakaidou, sanadakaidou, tezusana.

hmmm, im pretty sure there's more.

akutaka.

err....yuuushi/ryoma. gakuto/eiji. kaidoh/ryoma/karupin

Date: 2006-08-20 10:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-spicy.livejournal.com
oh yes definitely

Date: 2006-08-16 10:26 pm (UTC)
qem_chibati: Coloured picture of Killua from hunter x hunter, with the symbol of Qem in the corner. (A cat made from Q, E, M) (Default)
From: [personal profile] qem_chibati
I did get a reputation for ever, ever being wrong, though. I was very dependable.

I think you forgot an n. ^.~

That completely sucks that you didn't get to go to disney world. =/
I wonder if he only picks boys because they all had to share a room, though.

Date: 2006-08-16 11:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marksykins.livejournal.com
"Inui," he said finally, and then stopped, because he didn't know what else to say.

How about 'Fuck me'?


Seriously. Tezuka would do so much better for himself if he'd listen to his legion of loyal fangirls.

I'm really enjoying these. I'm also really enjoying rereading the whole 'Tezuka recites the capitals of the world' thing because that is still pretty much the hottest thought on earth. Oh, Inui indeed.

Date: 2006-08-16 11:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marksykins.livejournal.com
Yeah, pretend that wasn't all in bold. Hot Inui will sufficiently distract you.

Date: 2006-08-17 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] belmanoir.livejournal.com
Inui's notebook is love. My favorite is the part about how fucking him on the table would shame Seigaku...

Date: 2006-08-17 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oscurotrophic.livejournal.com
I work at Disney and could so get you in for free-beez.

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